Phantom Heartache

(Not to be confused with Phantom Heart Syndrome which has a whole different meaning as defined by Urban Dictionary)

Before we get into the matter(s) of the Heart let us first see what the whole Phantom thing is. Most of you might have heard about Phantom Limb. For those who haven't. here is a brief summary. A Phantom Limb is the sensation that an amputated or a missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts.(source - Wikipedia). This amputated or missing limb can feel itchy and you cannot scratch it because well, there is no limb. Then comes the pain, Phantom Pain that is. Though I do not have any personal experience of this, I know for sure that it is serious because people have been trying to come up with different treatments for this for years.

I always (well maybe not always, but most times) wondered why it is called giving your heart or heart broken and such even though the heart has barely anything to with emotional decisions or any decisions for that matter. Emotional feelings/reactions in the body are processed by Amygdala, two almost shaped pieces in the brain. But hey  "I gave my Amygdala to someone" doesn't sound as good as saying "I gave my heart to someone". Anyway, we are getting way off topic here. So for now, let us assume and the heart has everything to do "feelings". So when you like someone or "love" someone and I mean romantically, it means you have given your heart to them. There are two possibilities in this scenario. That person might take your hear or they might not. You are in trouble no either case. If they don't take it, well it is out there somewhere, floating in the cold cosmos, all vulnerable. And if they do take it, then to begin with, it is all warm and fuzzy and the whole world is filled with rainbows and unicorns. But what you tend to forget is that you are no longer in control of your heart and someone else does. That person might take real good care of it, until things go south and don't kid yourself they more often than not they do. And I am NOT saying this by personal experience, because I have none what so ever, but I am saying this because there is thing called "The Second Law of Thermodynamics" which also disguises as Murphy's Law. So when things do go south, your heart(which apparently is fragile like a glass) is in the hands of someone else who might shatter it to pieces.

So in both the above cases (the first of which I am the king of and the second I have no idea about), the heart, the most essential part of the body is missing from the body and you have no control over it. That's when the Phantom Heartache begins. It's bad enough that it is missing from your body and yet you feel the pain. Sometimes it is mild but sometimes it is very acute, like thousand needles are pricking at it or like being inside a hot furnace. In most cases this Phantom Heartache seems to subside with time, but in some cases even after years, the pain lingers and creeps up ever so often and can make you miserable. Now is this pain worth it? Is it worth to take the risk of flinging your heart out there for someone to grab it or let it float around? The answer seems to be a resounding YES.

Losers write Poems, Winner gets the Girl

I always felt there are two types of deewanein (plural for deewana (m.) – noun, meaning “crazy in love”) in the world. One who writes poems or songs and try to win over someone’s heart with his so called sincere ways and the second kind would do whatever it takes, being boundless, brazen and even brash. A parallel can be drawn to how many people approach towards another four letter word which also starts with G and ends in an L, GOAL. Everyone has at least one if not many and like in most cases our approach towards our goal(s) are different.

The first kind of deewana is often timid, shy and passive. He might be the most talented and capable of the lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he will or should get the girl and as often is the case, the girl may not even know of his existence. He spends his time dreaming about the girl, using her pic(s) as wallpapers, writes poems/songs for her, becomes delusional and thinks that what he is doing is going to get him the girl. He has false hopes that she will somehow notice him for whatever small attempts he makes to gain her attention. The second kind of deewana is confident, bold and doesn’t even mind making a fool of himself in front of dozens. He may not have the talent or the abilities to back up his confidence, his boldness maybe be borderline stupidity, but what the hell, he did get noticed and more often than not will be given a chance.  He is someone who does it research, knows the likes and dislikes of the girl, gets her favorite flowers and hands them in person. He probably even would tell a few white lies (I am in no way suggesting any of you to do this) and makes her believe that he is the right one for her. And in the end, he gets the girl.

People often complain about how things are not working out the way they want them to and these people think that they are working hard and doing all the right things and yet achieving no success. They are like the first kind of deewana. They should take a good long look at their efforts, because those things you think are right might not be the ones that would actually help you achieve your goals. They should learn from that nobody (or so you think of him/her) who is getting the job you want, the promotion you deserve or winning that award etc. because he/she is doing something right. That right thing maybe unethical and in some cases borderline illegal, but his/her aggressive approach is what is making him/her a winner. You should have such an approach towards your goals. You cannot just try a few things and then complain that they are taking you nowhere. Remember the world is not a fair place and the nice guy may never get the girl, so be like the second kind of deewana, not that I would recommend you to lie, cheat or do anything illegal, but do bend the rules, stretch the limits of the truth and do the things that would actually get to your goal.

2014 - A Mixed Bag

Facebook's concept of making a short presentation of how everyone's year has been was kind of a good one. But I did not like someone else making the presentation for me and also my year hasn't been that great at all. Like the title of the blog says, it has been very much a mixed bag, a multidimensional high frequency roller coaster ride if you will. For those who really would like to know, here is a gist.

My Career has been at a virtual standstill because of not being able to get back to US which was part my fault and part circumstances. This really has been one of the biggest blows, not that I am in a rush or anything but, it would be nice to have had things rolling well. But there was an upside of being in India for the whole entire year (for the first time in almost 10 years), i got to do a lot of travelling (Goa, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Karnataka and some unseen places in Andhra Pradesh), which I am very much falling in love with. Speaking of love, my already broken heart got some more bad and conclusive news which was even more heart breaking (if that is possible). I did get some closure in this regard after knowing some more information, so I guess that a push. Another thing that is very much close to my heart are Sports. Spurs winning the NBA championship was such a good thing after the close miss last year, but the Patriots losing in the AFC championship again and Federer unable to win a Grand slam did hurt. Being home for the whole year and getting lazier by the day, I gained like 10 Kilos and am in probably the worst shape of my life and due to this, my physical abilities got worse, maybe it be agility, stamina and being good at sports. 

Here is hoping things would be much better in 2015AD not just for me, but to everyone in the world. A Very Happy New Year to All :)