Rivals vs Enemies

I finally realized how pathetically out of shape I have become (thanks to a friend's recently posted group pic) and once and for all decided to get back on the fitness track. One of the tools I am using to keep myself motivated to workout and maintain better eating habits is by watching YouTube videos about what is called as CrossFit. For those of you who don’t know what CrossFit is, here is a short video about it.

 The best CrossFitters from across the world compete in an annual competition and here are the highlights of the 2014 CrossFit games.

These athletes train like crazy for the better part of the day and stay on an extremely strict diet throughout the year, all to win an event that doesn’t even pay a lot or bring much fame. You’ve got to admire their passion. There is one more attribute of these athletes that is even more admirable. When an athlete who has already finished her/his workout in the competition sees a fellow athlete struggle in finishing hers/his, the former athlete goes to the later and cheers them on, encourages them, gives them tips, offers some water, brings the chalk bag closer and does whatever it takes to help the later finish the workout. Because of the grind they go through and how much time and energy (in most literal sense of the word) they put in, they understand what their competitors go through on a daily basis. So they don’t consider each other as Enemies, they see each other as Rivals.

Enemy:One who feels hatred towards, hostile towards, intends injury to, or opposes another.

Rival:One who attempts to equal or surpass another, or who pursues the same object as another.

CrossFitters realize that the competition is painstakingly hard and they don’t need someone else to make it even more difficult by talking trash to or belittling one another. Instead they encourage, admire and look-up to one another and this makes them get better at what they do.(A No. 1 in any field knows the importance of No. 2 in that field and vice-versa). I absolutely love this about the CrossFit community. We can learn a lot from this particular attribute of these athletes and apply it to our day-to-day lives. Living in a world full of terrible things like terrorism, natural calamities, energy crisis, poverty, epidemics, Donald Trump etc. is bad enough as it is. So, instead of stepping on or taking advantage of or trying to bring down someone, we should all try to be the best we can be at the same time help, inspire and strengthen each other and treat each other as rivals and not enemies. Sure the resources in this world are limited, that doesn't mean we should fight over them, we should rather try to use these resources efficiently to fight against the real enemies like the ones mentioned above.

One of the things that I have been quite disgusted with lately is all the animosity going around on so called “Social Media” and this is mainly pertaining to politics in India. There are two major groups, (1) supporters of the current Govt. and (2) those who aren’t. The issues of interest are what the Govt. is and isn’t doing. The former group obviously likes what the govt. is doing and makes arguments for why it isn't doing certain things. The later doesn’t like what the govt. is doing and questions it on why it isn't doing other things. All of this would have been fine if it was done in an honorable way. But no, what do they do instead? They turn to calling each other names like Bhakts, Chaddis, Libertards, Sickulars etc. There is one thing these two groups do agree on and that is regarding the media whom they both lovingly and quite aptly call, Presstitutes. The reason behind this is that these groups think that the media is always reporting in favor of the other group. How that is possible, I do not know. I also always wonder this, when a member of one group (from above) posts something that might offend a member of the other group, who is he/she actually addressing these things towards? Of course it is only those on his/her “friend-list” will be able to see these posts. Do you really want to alienate someone who is(or once was) your friend or at the least an acquaintance? All the loathing and ill will helps neither and most definitely not the nation (or the world). Instead wouldn’t it be better if we tried to bring our point across in a more friendly way so that if they don’t like it, they would question it in a respectful manner and thus starting a dialogue which would end in resolving the issues? There is a reason they are called Left & Right, they are not supposed to kill each other, instead they are supposed to balance each other, keep each other in check and push each other to improve the society and the humankind.

Like friendship, rivalry too is a two way street and you can't consider someone as a rival who wants to take your head off (figuratively speaking). But you can always try to reason with him/her/them to a certain extent and if it doesn't work, then you know who's who and what's what. 

Try to keep your Friends close, Rivals closer and use them both to eliminate the Enemies.

New York My Love

During my junior year at college (2003-04), FRIENDS introduced me to a woman, a woman whom I have heard of before but did not show much interest mostly because I thought she was out of my reach. But this time around, she fascinated me very much. My interest in her grew with every episode I watched and it grew to an extent that I decided to go meet her at the earliest. And the opportunity presented to me in the form of graduate school. I planned for my Grad school in such a way that I would be close to her if not with her and I did get into a school which let me do just that. There were a few brief hurdles in the process, like me getting very sick with Mumps the week before I was supposed to leave and almost deciding to postpone the trip and then there was the thing with my fight ticket getting to me at the very last minute (for further details refer http://tobeastronaut.blogspot.in/2005/08/finally-in-usa.html) and such. But after much awaiting I finally did get to meet her on Aug 18^th 2005. She was as amazing and beautiful as I imagined and then some. Paulo Coelho said “A City is like a capricious woman: she takes time to be seduced and reveal herself completely”. She sure did take her sweet time and even after all these years, I barely know her. She goes by many names, The Big Apple, The City that never sleeps, Gotham, The Melting Pot, The Empire City and the list goes on. She will always be just New York (no offence to the State of New York) to me.

People have asked me “what is so special about her?” or “why do you like her?” etc whenever I tell them about a certain girl I like(d). I could never really give them an answer and the same is the case with NYC. Why do I like it so much? I do not know. It could be because this is where I became truly independent for the first time or because it showed me a path towards achieving my career dream or because it has been part of many a sweet memories or because it is where I met a certain girl whom I thought to be the one (again) or because it has been with me during many hardships and helped me through them or because it helped me learn quite a few things and taught me many life lessons. There may be many such cities just like her, but all I have to say is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PTDv_szmL0.

They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and trust me when I say this, my heart is fondest for you my dear. In my ideal world I would spending today with the one and my woman. Since life doesn’t just work like that, so here I am, longing for THE CITY and wishing you all out there a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

Phantom Heartache

(Not to be confused with Phantom Heart Syndrome which has a whole different meaning as defined by Urban Dictionary)

Before we get into the matter(s) of the Heart let us first see what the whole Phantom thing is. Most of you might have heard about Phantom Limb. For those who haven't. here is a brief summary. A Phantom Limb is the sensation that an amputated or a missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts.(source - Wikipedia). This amputated or missing limb can feel itchy and you cannot scratch it because well, there is no limb. Then comes the pain, Phantom Pain that is. Though I do not have any personal experience of this, I know for sure that it is serious because people have been trying to come up with different treatments for this for years.

I always (well maybe not always, but most times) wondered why it is called giving your heart or heart broken and such even though the heart has barely anything to with emotional decisions or any decisions for that matter. Emotional feelings/reactions in the body are processed by Amygdala, two almost shaped pieces in the brain. But hey  "I gave my Amygdala to someone" doesn't sound as good as saying "I gave my heart to someone". Anyway, we are getting way off topic here. So for now, let us assume and the heart has everything to do "feelings". So when you like someone or "love" someone and I mean romantically, it means you have given your heart to them. There are two possibilities in this scenario. That person might take your hear or they might not. You are in trouble no either case. If they don't take it, well it is out there somewhere, floating in the cold cosmos, all vulnerable. And if they do take it, then to begin with, it is all warm and fuzzy and the whole world is filled with rainbows and unicorns. But what you tend to forget is that you are no longer in control of your heart and someone else does. That person might take real good care of it, until things go south and don't kid yourself they more often than not they do. And I am NOT saying this by personal experience, because I have none what so ever, but I am saying this because there is thing called "The Second Law of Thermodynamics" which also disguises as Murphy's Law. So when things do go south, your heart(which apparently is fragile like a glass) is in the hands of someone else who might shatter it to pieces.

So in both the above cases (the first of which I am the king of and the second I have no idea about), the heart, the most essential part of the body is missing from the body and you have no control over it. That's when the Phantom Heartache begins. It's bad enough that it is missing from your body and yet you feel the pain. Sometimes it is mild but sometimes it is very acute, like thousand needles are pricking at it or like being inside a hot furnace. In most cases this Phantom Heartache seems to subside with time, but in some cases even after years, the pain lingers and creeps up ever so often and can make you miserable. Now is this pain worth it? Is it worth to take the risk of flinging your heart out there for someone to grab it or let it float around? The answer seems to be a resounding YES.

Losers write Poems, Winner gets the Girl

I always felt there are two types of deewanein (plural for deewana (m.) – noun, meaning “crazy in love”) in the world. One who writes poems or songs and try to win over someone’s heart with his so called sincere ways and the second kind would do whatever it takes, being boundless, brazen and even brash. A parallel can be drawn to how many people approach towards another four letter word which also starts with G and ends in an L, GOAL. Everyone has at least one if not many and like in most cases our approach towards our goal(s) are different.

The first kind of deewana is often timid, shy and passive. He might be the most talented and capable of the lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he will or should get the girl and as often is the case, the girl may not even know of his existence. He spends his time dreaming about the girl, using her pic(s) as wallpapers, writes poems/songs for her, becomes delusional and thinks that what he is doing is going to get him the girl. He has false hopes that she will somehow notice him for whatever small attempts he makes to gain her attention. The second kind of deewana is confident, bold and doesn’t even mind making a fool of himself in front of dozens. He may not have the talent or the abilities to back up his confidence, his boldness maybe be borderline stupidity, but what the hell, he did get noticed and more often than not will be given a chance.  He is someone who does it research, knows the likes and dislikes of the girl, gets her favorite flowers and hands them in person. He probably even would tell a few white lies (I am in no way suggesting any of you to do this) and makes her believe that he is the right one for her. And in the end, he gets the girl.

People often complain about how things are not working out the way they want them to and these people think that they are working hard and doing all the right things and yet achieving no success. They are like the first kind of deewana. They should take a good long look at their efforts, because those things you think are right might not be the ones that would actually help you achieve your goals. They should learn from that nobody (or so you think of him/her) who is getting the job you want, the promotion you deserve or winning that award etc. because he/she is doing something right. That right thing maybe unethical and in some cases borderline illegal, but his/her aggressive approach is what is making him/her a winner. You should have such an approach towards your goals. You cannot just try a few things and then complain that they are taking you nowhere. Remember the world is not a fair place and the nice guy may never get the girl, so be like the second kind of deewana, not that I would recommend you to lie, cheat or do anything illegal, but do bend the rules, stretch the limits of the truth and do the things that would actually get to your goal.

2014 - A Mixed Bag

Facebook's concept of making a short presentation of how everyone's year has been was kind of a good one. But I did not like someone else making the presentation for me and also my year hasn't been that great at all. Like the title of the blog says, it has been very much a mixed bag, a multidimensional high frequency roller coaster ride if you will. For those who really would like to know, here is a gist.

My Career has been at a virtual standstill because of not being able to get back to US which was part my fault and part circumstances. This really has been one of the biggest blows, not that I am in a rush or anything but, it would be nice to have had things rolling well. But there was an upside of being in India for the whole entire year (for the first time in almost 10 years), i got to do a lot of travelling (Goa, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Karnataka and some unseen places in Andhra Pradesh), which I am very much falling in love with. Speaking of love, my already broken heart got some more bad and conclusive news which was even more heart breaking (if that is possible). I did get some closure in this regard after knowing some more information, so I guess that a push. Another thing that is very much close to my heart are Sports. Spurs winning the NBA championship was such a good thing after the close miss last year, but the Patriots losing in the AFC championship again and Federer unable to win a Grand slam did hurt. Being home for the whole year and getting lazier by the day, I gained like 10 Kilos and am in probably the worst shape of my life and due to this, my physical abilities got worse, maybe it be agility, stamina and being good at sports. 

Here is hoping things would be much better in 2015AD not just for me, but to everyone in the world. A Very Happy New Year to All :) 

Missing the New York Fall

Spectacular fall foliage of Central Park

It's the first week of November, which means Halloween just passed, Thanksgiving is only couple of weeks away, the leaves are changing color(if they haven't already), there is a crispness in the air, football season is in full swing, , Starbucks has its pumpkin flavored and other holiday blend coffees and here I am, stuck in India unable to enjoy any of the above. For those of you who know me well, know that Fall is my favorite season. It all started back in college when the Inter-IIT(kind of an inter collegiate) and Inter-Hostel practices used to begin for Hockey and Track. Breaking a sweat in the slightly chilly air used to give me an inexplicable pleasure. Though there was not much of a visible fall foliage in New Delhi, it was sure lovely none the less.

Brady scrambling for a first down vs Dolphins

New York is a quite different. The change in the color of the leaves is very much noticeable and the  transition from summer to winter over a period of 3 months is the best period of the year in my opinion. Living in The Big Apple for the past 8 fall season, I got to experience a bunch of different things. Of course NYC has to offer something or the other in every season, but fall was particularly special at least for me because of the factors mentioned before. While in India, Diwali used to be my favorite holiday, because I got to burst some fireworks and eat delicious food. After moving to US, Thanksgiving became my favorite holiday because of its food, football, friends and not to mention the "deals" that retailers offer. Though not every year, there have been times when I(with the help of friends) made "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner , while watching football. And this favorite holiday of mine occurring in the fall only made me love the season more.

Skaters enjoying the free entry pond at Bryant Park.
Courtesy of CITI.

As Thanksgiving passes by taking all the leaves with it and the month of December arrives bringing occasional snow, it's time to bring out the heavy jackets and blades and go ice skating on "The Pond" at Bryant Park. It's also the time to put the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center and the time for winter shops all over NYC. As the weather gets colder everyday, I like to take a stroll down Fifth Ave. in a sweater and just a fall jacket, with a Cappuccino in my hand, checking out the holiday shoppers and enjoying the back end of the season that is so dear to me.

 They say that in any relationship there comes a time when the members in the relationship take each other for granted and the love for one another declines and this usually happens around the seven year mark, hence the phrase Seven Year Itch. It has been EIGHT years that I have been with you and been enjoying your company, but I still love you as much or maybe even more than I did, when I first fell for you in 2005, the Autumn of New York. And this year I am missing you very dearly. Hoping to see you soon My Love. :)

Cans 'n' Can'ts

(Some of the can'ts below are "not yets" and some of them are "maynots", but all the cans are definitely cans)

I can't change the place where I was born, but I can decide where to live;

I can't change my bone structure, but I can change my muscle structure;

I can't control how much stuff is on my head, but I can control what's in it;

I can't control how people act, but I can control how I react;
I can't end world hunger, but I can feed a mouth or two;
I can't cure a disease, but I can spread awareness;
I can't stop a war, but I can refrain from starting one;

I can't undo the mistakes I made, but I can make sure I won't repeat them;
I can't make you fall in love with me, but I can love you unconditionally;

I can't avoid death, but I can enjoy life while I can.

P.S. IF I CAN, SO CAN YOU, BUT IF I CAN'T DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T.