New York - New York

If you are thinking that this post has something to do with the Frank Sinatra's song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUrUfJW1JGk&ab_channel=LuisEduardoAndradeOjeda), then you are wrong. Here, in the two New Yorks that are mentioned, only one corresponds to New York City and another to a person whom I code-named New York. 

Anyone who knows me even a little bit, would know how much I love New York City. I have written so many blog posts about it already. You can find one such post here http://tobeastronaut.blogspot.com/2016/02/new-york-my-love.html. Please read that, before continuing onto this one. 

So, New York City. No matter how much you say about New York for how ever long a time, it still seems less and seems too short to me. It is the place where I spent almost 8 years of my life, the place I had to leave and could not go back for various reasons, the place I miss like crazy and the place where I would want to be more than anywhere else in the world. This was very true until like 7 months ago i.e. I would have done almost anything to go back to my dear beloved New York City. 

But then, during the later weeks in the month of February, it changed. I came across her. At first it was just a simple attraction, nothing major. But as days passed, it got intense. All my waking hours, I couldn't help but think about her. Right from the moment I woke up in the morning, till the moment I went to bed, she was on my mind. Could not realize what was it about her. Maybe it is her angelic looking features or her devil-may-care type of body language or maybe it is her minimalist lifestyle which I realized by observing a  certain things she used or maybe it is her relentless commitment towards a certain things (which I got know indirectly, thanks to a very close friend of mine) or maybe it is all of them. It most likely is all of them. As further more days have passed, I got to know her better. Some of the things I got to know surprised me, some made me connect a few dots and helped me understand her previous behavior at a few instances etc. All in all, I realized that she is an amazing person and my attention was well spent. That doesn't mean she didn't have a few traits that I didn't like. But these are such traits, which hurt nobody, so it was not at all a big deal. I was in way too deep without even realizing.

Now, the reason I gave her the code name New York was, even though I loved New York City so much, if it were to choose between going back to NYC or having a shot at spending a lifetime with her, I would have chosen her. Yeah sure, I didn't know her as well as I knew New York City, because as mentioned earlier, I spent almost 8 years in NYC, but I knew her only for about a month and a half and interacted with her for only exactly a month. But that didn't change the way I feel about her. When you know, you know. 

But as luck would have it, things rarely (if ever) go as you planned. Same as what happened with New York City, i.e., I had to leave and couldn't yet return in over 7 years now, I cannot be with her because of reasons that are out of my control. So, here I am, after 5 and half months since I have spoken to her, loser at love, missing someone who probably doesn't even remember my name, pouring my heart out in public like this, for what? I have no idea. Maybe it has a little bit of therapeutic effect on me or something. 

So now, the way things are, I would do my best to return to New York City sometime in the next few years and hopefully for good, because as it turns out, the person New York could never be mine. 

Love & Pi

This morning I watched a Spanish movie called "Vivir Dos Veces". It is about a 70 something Mathematics Professor (Emilio) who is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. So he sets out to find his childhood love (Margarita) whom he hasn't seen in over 50 years, just to to keep her memories alive. On this journey, he is accompanied by his reluctant daughter, cute and quirky grand daughter and his semi-idiotic son-in-law. During the car ride from Valencia to Navarra, his daughter asks him what it so special about Margarita, then Emilio says 

"Ella es.....como el número pi. Me gustan tanto las mathematicas, porque son pura logica. Los numeros son racionales, predicibles. Pero, de repente, ne medio de tanto armonia, aparece el numero pi. Un numero, misterioso, infinito, Es un numero que esta vivo, crea su propio camino sin seguir...patrones establecidos. Y eso hace que las matematicas, ademas de logica, tambien sean magica. Eso era Margarita para mi. La magia." 

This roughly translates to - 

"She is....like the number pi.  I like Mathematics so much because it's pure logic. Numbers are rational, predictable. But, suddenly, in the middle of this harmony, is the number pi. A number that is mysterious, infinite. A number that is alive, it creates its own path without following established patterns. That's what makes math, as well as logic, partly magic too.That's what Margarita was to me. Magic." 

The mathematician in me would find a dozen things wrong with what was said about Pi. But the eternal romantic in me would give a standing ovation to whoever wrote this script. This is just so amazing. Reminded me of my own personal number Pi. Out of all the finitely many numbers (just going with the flow here ladies, absolutely no disrespect at all), i stumbled upon her when I wasn't even looking. Just like the number pi, she was a complete mystery to begin with. Just like the number pi, I could know only a little about her. Just like the number pi, she will always remain a lot more mysterious. But unlike the real number pi (pun intended), I wont get to know her anymore. Instead I would take my talents else where and maybe unlock the secrets hidden in Navier-Stokes Equations perhaps and win that Fields Medal. Only four more years left,  Navier-Stokes, here I come. 

A plea for a better tomorrow

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”

– Edmund Burke

I don’t know if I am a good person or not, but I surely have done nothing for long enough time to see many evils triumph in the world. I am also very much displeased with the direction we as humans are moving and would like to do whatever, whenever and in whichever form I can, to change as many things as I can. The evils I speak of are pollution, corruption, growing population, depleting resources, adulteration, greed, abuse of human and animals by others, etc. Some of these evils are interlinked to one another making it a huge web and getting rid of that web is no small task.

For quite a while now, I have been mulling over writing a series of blogs to tackle one of the above mentioned issues at a time. Leo’s (DiCaprio) Oscar acceptance speech put me over the laziness hill(not soon enough, because I started this blog on Mar 1^st) and is making me begin this blog series with the issue that is very close to my heart. It is that of wastage of energy, natural resources, water and other human effects on the environment. Now, I do not have as much reach as Leo, nor do I have any influence to implement policies that could steer us away from the path we are on. But what I can do is state a few facts and make a few pleas via “social media” and hope to make a difference, however small it may be.

 As the adage goes “We don’t know the value of something until we lose it”. The reason behind that could be because subconsciously we feel that we may never lose it. And that is the culprit when it comes to fuels and other energy sources.  Since we don’t actually see from where and how we get our energy, not many of us have any idea of how much fuel reserves we have left and hence think that as long as things are getting done, it’s all cool. Here are a few numbers for you. (Sorry for my incompetence in collecting data and being inconsistent with years, but I assure you the values shown below are not far from reality)

The different types of energy sources and the percentage each of them contribute to our daily usage is shown in the pie-chart below. 

As you can see most of daily used energy comes from fossil fuels i.e. Petroleum, Natural gas and Coal. CIA world factbook puts Natural gas reserves at 206.4 trillion m³ (Est. Jan 2014) and Crude oil reserves at 1.66 trillion bbl (Est. Jan 2015). There is quite a contrast on the amount of proven coal reserves in the world, so let’s leave the dirtiest (in terms of pollution caused in converting it to usable energy) of the fossil fuels alone. The renewable energy sources as the name says are almost kind of a bottomless pit, but we are using them to fulfill only a fifth of our energy needs. 

The above numbers may not make much sense, but the below graph might bring things into perspective. What the graph tells us is that, if we don’t change our energy usage habit drastically and if we don’t find any new major resources of fossil fuels and continue to extract them at the current rate, we will run out of Crude oil in 53 years, Natural gas in 55 years and Coal in 113 years.

So there needs to be urgency on our part to manage our usage of these resources. As if the situation is not bad enough as it is, we also have to deal with another issue. The destruction of energy.

Energy is always destroyed

We all (at least most of us) remember the law regarding energy that we studied in school; “Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed”. It must be very nice, we can do whatever (work) we want with it and we are not losing any of it. It’s just awesome, right? WRONG. It’s not as simple and straight forward as that. Every time an energy source is used, we are (more often than not) converting one form of energy into another and during this conversion quite a lot of it is lost. Wait, that can’t be right, it completely negates the conservation law. You are right; I kind of mislead you there. So what I should have said was that “Some of the energy that we had to begin with is lost/wasted in the process of using it”. It is kind of like a convenience fee for making a transaction, but only in this case, the money is not going into anyone’s pocket. So not only do we have depleting resources every time we use them, we are also effectively wasting part of them.

Speaking of pockets, we all got them and we think that the heavier one’s pocket, the more comfortable his/her life should be.

The Cost of comfort

What an awesome life we are living these days. It’s too hot outside, blast the AC at lowest available temperature setting; when there is a power cut, wait what power cut, we all have invertors or generators or some sort of back up; want to take a shower and there is water shortage, make a call and your water tank gets filled; have to go to work, why take a two wheeler when you have the big ass six seater car; flat is on the 3^th floor, why bother taking the stairs when you have an elevator; too tired to go buy groceries at a store not even a mile away, we can always get them delivered at home. This is nothing less than a royal treatment. Instead of making efforts to solve power and water shortage issues, we are getting around them just thinking of only ourselves and right now. Yeah it is hot out there but running the AC all the time will only make things worse by causing more pollution (indirect) and hence increase in average temperature in years to come. Carpooling or getting to work on a two wheeler may not be as cool, but it sure is a bargain for you, others and mother earth. Sure we can all pay (with money) for these comforts, but, can we really afford to use up or rather misuse all the resources? What kind of planet do you leave for generations to come?

Please understand that I am by no means implying that we all should live uncomfortable lives. Just don’t overdo it, have an optimal approach to it.

Great deal!! But for whom?

We live in a society where everyone wants to be one step ahead of our neighbors, relatives, colleagues and that guy/girl whom we met once, about 5 years ago and is now a facebook friend. And what better way to do that than by owning the latest electronic gadgets or that pair of new sports shoes or those fancy designer clothes or the ultra-modern-extra-comfortable-very-relaxing-make-you-feel-like-on-clouds furniture set. And we are in luck; there is an amazing offer on them. It is XY% off. Wow!!!! Sure, it makes us happy when we finally end up buying it/them, but what are we doing in the process? We are actually buying stuff that we most likely did not need in the first place and then start a chain reaction. We tell about our brand new purchase to everyone we know by “posting it”, and now they feel like they have to get it too and they do and they tell everyone they know and this goes on. But we can’t blame ourselves completely. We are constantly bombarded with these offers and bonanzas and deals. Deals via ads on TV and radio, deals via emails, deals via SMS(texts), deals on huge bill boards etc. and all of them make us want those stuff more. If we take a minute and think about a few things, (a) Do we really need that stuff or are we being duped into thinking that we need them? (b) How come there is always an offer on it and how is the guy selling it making a profit? & most importantly (c) How many resources are being wasted in making, transporting, advertising and selling these products that we are buying which we do not need? So, please look for deals based on your needs, don’t create needs because of the available deals.

I am in no means a saint to be preaching all these things to you but I do try to walk the talk more often than not. I wish I was like one of those people on the (New York) Subway who hold a bible in their hand and scream out all the things we are doing wrong (according to the bible) and tell how we are going to hell. Only difference is that I would be yelling about how we are screwing up the planet and are creating our own hell right here. I am not in a position to do that. I do however have a few pleas for you which could mitigate the atrocities we commit every day.

The pleas

·              Turn off the lights & fan if you are leaving the room even for a minute.
·         Take public transport or ride a bike (if possible) to work once in a while.
·         Use a high mileage hybrid car for daily usage instead of a heavy gas guzzling one.
·         If you are physically able, take the stairs whenever it is 5 floors or less. It is a double bonus; you are conserving (electric) energy and also getting a good workout at the same time.
·         Be conscious while taking a shower as most of us day dream during showering and that result in a lot of water wastage. Ration yourself the amount of water you want to use. Better yet don’t shower on days when you don’t have to, it not only saves water, it also makes you reminisce your college days.
·         Try to buy local goods as much as possible, so that there is no wastage of resources in transportation, storage etc.
·         Take a train or a bus (when feasible) instead of a plane when you are not on a time crunch.
·         Try to prolong the use of an old item (whatever it may be) of yours for a few extra weeks/months before getting a new one.
·         Have the AC at a reasonable setting and also limit its usage.
·         Install low-flow toilets in the bathrooms.
·         Look into solar energy alternatives for your daily power needs. 

The list could go on but you get the idea. Just think of the future and make conscious choices when it comes to the usage of natural resources. On a lighter note, exceptions can always be made in some instances like say if you want to impress a supermodel, then maybe you could take her out to dinner in your (low mileage) sports car or if you can afford it, on a chopper for an island vacation, but make sure you compensate by lowering your carbon foot print in other aspects like reducing your electricity usage for the next few months, walking or cycling to work every other day etc.

Rivals vs Enemies

I finally realized how pathetically out of shape I have become (thanks to a friend's recently posted group pic) and once and for all decided to get back on the fitness track. One of the tools I am using to keep myself motivated to workout and maintain better eating habits is by watching YouTube videos about what is called as CrossFit. For those of you who don’t know what CrossFit is, here is a short video about it.

 The best CrossFitters from across the world compete in an annual competition and here are the highlights of the 2014 CrossFit games.

These athletes train like crazy for the better part of the day and stay on an extremely strict diet throughout the year, all to win an event that doesn’t even pay a lot or bring much fame. You’ve got to admire their passion. There is one more attribute of these athletes that is even more admirable. When an athlete who has already finished her/his workout in the competition sees a fellow athlete struggle in finishing hers/his, the former athlete goes to the later and cheers them on, encourages them, gives them tips, offers some water, brings the chalk bag closer and does whatever it takes to help the later finish the workout. Because of the grind they go through and how much time and energy (in most literal sense of the word) they put in, they understand what their competitors go through on a daily basis. So they don’t consider each other as Enemies, they see each other as Rivals.

Enemy:One who feels hatred towards, hostile towards, intends injury to, or opposes another.

Rival:One who attempts to equal or surpass another, or who pursues the same object as another.

CrossFitters realize that the competition is painstakingly hard and they don’t need someone else to make it even more difficult by talking trash to or belittling one another. Instead they encourage, admire and look-up to one another and this makes them get better at what they do.(A No. 1 in any field knows the importance of No. 2 in that field and vice-versa). I absolutely love this about the CrossFit community. We can learn a lot from this particular attribute of these athletes and apply it to our day-to-day lives. Living in a world full of terrible things like terrorism, natural calamities, energy crisis, poverty, epidemics, Donald Trump etc. is bad enough as it is. So, instead of stepping on or taking advantage of or trying to bring down someone, we should all try to be the best we can be at the same time help, inspire and strengthen each other and treat each other as rivals and not enemies. Sure the resources in this world are limited, that doesn't mean we should fight over them, we should rather try to use these resources efficiently to fight against the real enemies like the ones mentioned above.

One of the things that I have been quite disgusted with lately is all the animosity going around on so called “Social Media” and this is mainly pertaining to politics in India. There are two major groups, (1) supporters of the current Govt. and (2) those who aren’t. The issues of interest are what the Govt. is and isn’t doing. The former group obviously likes what the govt. is doing and makes arguments for why it isn't doing certain things. The later doesn’t like what the govt. is doing and questions it on why it isn't doing other things. All of this would have been fine if it was done in an honorable way. But no, what do they do instead? They turn to calling each other names like Bhakts, Chaddis, Libertards, Sickulars etc. There is one thing these two groups do agree on and that is regarding the media whom they both lovingly and quite aptly call, Presstitutes. The reason behind this is that these groups think that the media is always reporting in favor of the other group. How that is possible, I do not know. I also always wonder this, when a member of one group (from above) posts something that might offend a member of the other group, who is he/she actually addressing these things towards? Of course it is only those on his/her “friend-list” will be able to see these posts. Do you really want to alienate someone who is(or once was) your friend or at the least an acquaintance? All the loathing and ill will helps neither and most definitely not the nation (or the world). Instead wouldn’t it be better if we tried to bring our point across in a more friendly way so that if they don’t like it, they would question it in a respectful manner and thus starting a dialogue which would end in resolving the issues? There is a reason they are called Left & Right, they are not supposed to kill each other, instead they are supposed to balance each other, keep each other in check and push each other to improve the society and the humankind.

Like friendship, rivalry too is a two way street and you can't consider someone as a rival who wants to take your head off (figuratively speaking). But you can always try to reason with him/her/them to a certain extent and if it doesn't work, then you know who's who and what's what. 

Try to keep your Friends close, Rivals closer and use them both to eliminate the Enemies.

New York My Love

During my junior year at college (2003-04), FRIENDS introduced me to a woman, a woman whom I have heard of before but did not show much interest mostly because I thought she was out of my reach. But this time around, she fascinated me very much. My interest in her grew with every episode I watched and it grew to an extent that I decided to go meet her at the earliest. And the opportunity presented to me in the form of graduate school. I planned for my Grad school in such a way that I would be close to her if not with her and I did get into a school which let me do just that. There were a few brief hurdles in the process, like me getting very sick with Mumps the week before I was supposed to leave and almost deciding to postpone the trip and then there was the thing with my fight ticket getting to me at the very last minute (for further details refer http://tobeastronaut.blogspot.in/2005/08/finally-in-usa.html) and such. But after much awaiting I finally did get to meet her on Aug 18^th 2005. She was as amazing and beautiful as I imagined and then some. Paulo Coelho said “A City is like a capricious woman: she takes time to be seduced and reveal herself completely”. She sure did take her sweet time and even after all these years, I barely know her. She goes by many names, The Big Apple, The City that never sleeps, Gotham, The Melting Pot, The Empire City and the list goes on. She will always be just New York (no offence to the State of New York) to me.

People have asked me “what is so special about her?” or “why do you like her?” etc whenever I tell them about a certain girl I like(d). I could never really give them an answer and the same is the case with NYC. Why do I like it so much? I do not know. It could be because this is where I became truly independent for the first time or because it showed me a path towards achieving my career dream or because it has been part of many a sweet memories or because it is where I met a certain girl whom I thought to be the one (again) or because it has been with me during many hardships and helped me through them or because it helped me learn quite a few things and taught me many life lessons. There may be many such cities just like her, but all I have to say is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PTDv_szmL0.

They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and trust me when I say this, my heart is fondest for you my dear. In my ideal world I would spending today with the one and my woman. Since life doesn’t just work like that, so here I am, longing for THE CITY and wishing you all out there a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

Phantom Heartache

(Not to be confused with Phantom Heart Syndrome which has a whole different meaning as defined by Urban Dictionary)

Before we get into the matter(s) of the Heart let us first see what the whole Phantom thing is. Most of you might have heard about Phantom Limb. For those who haven't. here is a brief summary. A Phantom Limb is the sensation that an amputated or a missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts.(source - Wikipedia). This amputated or missing limb can feel itchy and you cannot scratch it because well, there is no limb. Then comes the pain, Phantom Pain that is. Though I do not have any personal experience of this, I know for sure that it is serious because people have been trying to come up with different treatments for this for years.

I always (well maybe not always, but most times) wondered why it is called giving your heart or heart broken and such even though the heart has barely anything to with emotional decisions or any decisions for that matter. Emotional feelings/reactions in the body are processed by Amygdala, two almost shaped pieces in the brain. But hey  "I gave my Amygdala to someone" doesn't sound as good as saying "I gave my heart to someone". Anyway, we are getting way off topic here. So for now, let us assume and the heart has everything to do "feelings". So when you like someone or "love" someone and I mean romantically, it means you have given your heart to them. There are two possibilities in this scenario. That person might take your hear or they might not. You are in trouble no either case. If they don't take it, well it is out there somewhere, floating in the cold cosmos, all vulnerable. And if they do take it, then to begin with, it is all warm and fuzzy and the whole world is filled with rainbows and unicorns. But what you tend to forget is that you are no longer in control of your heart and someone else does. That person might take real good care of it, until things go south and don't kid yourself they more often than not they do. And I am NOT saying this by personal experience, because I have none what so ever, but I am saying this because there is thing called "The Second Law of Thermodynamics" which also disguises as Murphy's Law. So when things do go south, your heart(which apparently is fragile like a glass) is in the hands of someone else who might shatter it to pieces.

So in both the above cases (the first of which I am the king of and the second I have no idea about), the heart, the most essential part of the body is missing from the body and you have no control over it. That's when the Phantom Heartache begins. It's bad enough that it is missing from your body and yet you feel the pain. Sometimes it is mild but sometimes it is very acute, like thousand needles are pricking at it or like being inside a hot furnace. In most cases this Phantom Heartache seems to subside with time, but in some cases even after years, the pain lingers and creeps up ever so often and can make you miserable. Now is this pain worth it? Is it worth to take the risk of flinging your heart out there for someone to grab it or let it float around? The answer seems to be a resounding YES.

Losers write Poems, Winner gets the Girl

I always felt there are two types of deewanein (plural for deewana (m.) – noun, meaning “crazy in love”) in the world. One who writes poems or songs and try to win over someone’s heart with his so called sincere ways and the second kind would do whatever it takes, being boundless, brazen and even brash. A parallel can be drawn to how many people approach towards another four letter word which also starts with G and ends in an L, GOAL. Everyone has at least one if not many and like in most cases our approach towards our goal(s) are different.

The first kind of deewana is often timid, shy and passive. He might be the most talented and capable of the lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he will or should get the girl and as often is the case, the girl may not even know of his existence. He spends his time dreaming about the girl, using her pic(s) as wallpapers, writes poems/songs for her, becomes delusional and thinks that what he is doing is going to get him the girl. He has false hopes that she will somehow notice him for whatever small attempts he makes to gain her attention. The second kind of deewana is confident, bold and doesn’t even mind making a fool of himself in front of dozens. He may not have the talent or the abilities to back up his confidence, his boldness maybe be borderline stupidity, but what the hell, he did get noticed and more often than not will be given a chance.  He is someone who does it research, knows the likes and dislikes of the girl, gets her favorite flowers and hands them in person. He probably even would tell a few white lies (I am in no way suggesting any of you to do this) and makes her believe that he is the right one for her. And in the end, he gets the girl.

People often complain about how things are not working out the way they want them to and these people think that they are working hard and doing all the right things and yet achieving no success. They are like the first kind of deewana. They should take a good long look at their efforts, because those things you think are right might not be the ones that would actually help you achieve your goals. They should learn from that nobody (or so you think of him/her) who is getting the job you want, the promotion you deserve or winning that award etc. because he/she is doing something right. That right thing maybe unethical and in some cases borderline illegal, but his/her aggressive approach is what is making him/her a winner. You should have such an approach towards your goals. You cannot just try a few things and then complain that they are taking you nowhere. Remember the world is not a fair place and the nice guy may never get the girl, so be like the second kind of deewana, not that I would recommend you to lie, cheat or do anything illegal, but do bend the rules, stretch the limits of the truth and do the things that would actually get to your goal.

2014 - A Mixed Bag

Facebook's concept of making a short presentation of how everyone's year has been was kind of a good one. But I did not like someone else making the presentation for me and also my year hasn't been that great at all. Like the title of the blog says, it has been very much a mixed bag, a multidimensional high frequency roller coaster ride if you will. For those who really would like to know, here is a gist.

My Career has been at a virtual standstill because of not being able to get back to US which was part my fault and part circumstances. This really has been one of the biggest blows, not that I am in a rush or anything but, it would be nice to have had things rolling well. But there was an upside of being in India for the whole entire year (for the first time in almost 10 years), i got to do a lot of travelling (Goa, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Karnataka and some unseen places in Andhra Pradesh), which I am very much falling in love with. Speaking of love, my already broken heart got some more bad and conclusive news which was even more heart breaking (if that is possible). I did get some closure in this regard after knowing some more information, so I guess that a push. Another thing that is very much close to my heart are Sports. Spurs winning the NBA championship was such a good thing after the close miss last year, but the Patriots losing in the AFC championship again and Federer unable to win a Grand slam did hurt. Being home for the whole year and getting lazier by the day, I gained like 10 Kilos and am in probably the worst shape of my life and due to this, my physical abilities got worse, maybe it be agility, stamina and being good at sports. 

Here is hoping things would be much better in 2015AD not just for me, but to everyone in the world. A Very Happy New Year to All :) 

Missing the New York Fall

Spectacular fall foliage of Central Park

It's the first week of November, which means Halloween just passed, Thanksgiving is only couple of weeks away, the leaves are changing color(if they haven't already), there is a crispness in the air, football season is in full swing, , Starbucks has its pumpkin flavored and other holiday blend coffees and here I am, stuck in India unable to enjoy any of the above. For those of you who know me well, know that Fall is my favorite season. It all started back in college when the Inter-IIT(kind of an inter collegiate) and Inter-Hostel practices used to begin for Hockey and Track. Breaking a sweat in the slightly chilly air used to give me an inexplicable pleasure. Though there was not much of a visible fall foliage in New Delhi, it was sure lovely none the less.

Brady scrambling for a first down vs Dolphins

New York is a quite different. The change in the color of the leaves is very much noticeable and the  transition from summer to winter over a period of 3 months is the best period of the year in my opinion. Living in The Big Apple for the past 8 fall season, I got to experience a bunch of different things. Of course NYC has to offer something or the other in every season, but fall was particularly special at least for me because of the factors mentioned before. While in India, Diwali used to be my favorite holiday, because I got to burst some fireworks and eat delicious food. After moving to US, Thanksgiving became my favorite holiday because of its food, football, friends and not to mention the "deals" that retailers offer. Though not every year, there have been times when I(with the help of friends) made "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner , while watching football. And this favorite holiday of mine occurring in the fall only made me love the season more.

Skaters enjoying the free entry pond at Bryant Park.
Courtesy of CITI.

As Thanksgiving passes by taking all the leaves with it and the month of December arrives bringing occasional snow, it's time to bring out the heavy jackets and blades and go ice skating on "The Pond" at Bryant Park. It's also the time to put the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center and the time for winter shops all over NYC. As the weather gets colder everyday, I like to take a stroll down Fifth Ave. in a sweater and just a fall jacket, with a Cappuccino in my hand, checking out the holiday shoppers and enjoying the back end of the season that is so dear to me.

 They say that in any relationship there comes a time when the members in the relationship take each other for granted and the love for one another declines and this usually happens around the seven year mark, hence the phrase Seven Year Itch. It has been EIGHT years that I have been with you and been enjoying your company, but I still love you as much or maybe even more than I did, when I first fell for you in 2005, the Autumn of New York. And this year I am missing you very dearly. Hoping to see you soon My Love. :)

Cans 'n' Can'ts

(Some of the can'ts below are "not yets" and some of them are "maynots", but all the cans are definitely cans)

I can't change the place where I was born, but I can decide where to live;

I can't change my bone structure, but I can change my muscle structure;

I can't control how much stuff is on my head, but I can control what's in it;

I can't control how people act, but I can control how I react;
I can't end world hunger, but I can feed a mouth or two;
I can't cure a disease, but I can spread awareness;
I can't stop a war, but I can refrain from starting one;

I can't undo the mistakes I made, but I can make sure I won't repeat them;
I can't make you fall in love with me, but I can love you unconditionally;

I can't avoid death, but I can enjoy life while I can.

P.S. IF I CAN, SO CAN YOU, BUT IF I CAN'T DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T.

Le Tour De Vie (The Tour of Life)

Over the years, human life has been compared to a river, an onion, an operetta, a dance, a roller coaster ride etc. And all of those analogies make sense for most of us in one way or another. As some or most of you may know that I am a huge sports buff and over the past few years I got into the sport of cycling as well. It all started from the major tours like Tour de France, Giro d'Italia and  Vuelta a España to the minor tours like Tour de Suisse and even the most recent ones like Tour of Colorado. It might be boring to watch the cyclists just ride with nothing happening for long periods of time. But after following a few races closely, I started to draw parallels between a pro cycling tour and our life. So I thought, why not write about it for the ones of my blog followers to read. 

Since Tour de France is the holy grail of pro-cycling world, I will be comparing life to that particular race. For those who don't know much about Tour de France, It is an annual multi-stage bike race held in and around France in the month of July every year. It covers about 2000 miles consisting of 21 stages over a period of 23 days. The stages vary from pure flat ones to grueling mountain climbs, including individual time trials and also team time trials once every few years.

The Goal: As in any race, the rider who finishes all the stages in the minimum possible time wins the tour and the most coveted maillot jaune (Yellow Jersey, also called general classification). Same goes in life, everyone wants to earn more money or become more famous or do more work or something in the least amount of time.

Maillot Jaune

The Jerseys: Not all humans try and do the same thing in their lives. Everyone has their own goals, either based on their talents or their dreams or their needs etc. The tour is no different, there are various other categorical races within the general classification. They are the Green Jersey for the Sprinters, the Polka-dot Jersey for the Climbers and the White Jersey for the best young rider(under age 26) categories. No rider tries to win all the jerseys, because that would be quite improbable. But sometimes as in life, some people are just so good that they can do 3-4 things at the same time and do it really well, there are riders who do end up winning couple of jerseys.

The Team: It may not seem that way, but pro-cycling is as much a team sport as Football or Basketball. No one rider how ever exceptional he may be, can win a race all by himself. He does need the help of his teammates as in life we need the help of family and friends. Each team consists of 9 riders and each rider has a set duty for every stage. Not everyone in a team attempts to win the race, because that would not be a logical idea. The sole purpose of some team members is to help their leader win, like how some parents or even some cases siblings make sacrifices for their kids or brother or sisters. The comes the non riding team, the managers, the technicians, the handy boys etc, these are like the colleagues, neighbors and well wishers.

Riders going up Mt.Ventoux

The Stages: Not all humans are the same, some of us thrive under pressure and some like pleasant and peaceful situations to perform at their best. In the same way, the riders in the tour have various challenges thrown at them in the form of different stages. Some stages are flat which is like Christmas for the sprinters and some are mountain stages with average gradients upto 10%. These mountain stages is where the climbers get their turn to show what they are made of, gain the edge over others. There is a winner in every stage and similarly there is a winner at every phase of life, someone is ahead at one point and might not be ahead at a different point.To win the tour, you don't have to win ALL the stages, you just have to do exceptionally well in the stages that are your strengths and do about average in the stages in which you are not so good at. Same goes for life, you don't to do very well every single day, there will be days when you are on the top of the world and there will be days on which you may just be in the gutters.  You just have to make sure that there are more of the former kind of days than the later ones. 

Peloton

Peloton: "Man is a social animal", I've learnt that in 4th grade(i think) Social Studies class. We live in a society and we need each other to progress in day to day life, kind of like the riders need each other in the Peloton. Peloton means the main group. Traveling in a peloton helps all the riders. The riders save quite a lot of energy while riding in the peloton and it could also provide the necessary entertainment or amusement or distraction necessary to get through the monotonous pedaling. 

Dropouts: The tour not only requires a very high physical ability, it also required the riders to be mentally and psychologically strong. Unable to cope up with the demands of the tour, some riders drop out either due to injuries or exhaustion etc, in the same way how some people tend to give up on life either because, they have failed too many times, or sometimes  because they can't take it anymore. 

Doping: Life is not easy, there are many obstacles and some people just cannot cut it out. So to get ahead, they cheat, which could be cheating in an exam or bribing or blackmailing and the likes. The tour is no piece of cake either, its the ultimate test for riders' endurance and not everyone can handle it and those who can't keep up, dope. Over the recent years, this doping thing has brought a very bad name for the sport kind of like how corruption, oppression, exploitation etc has brought bad name to the world.

Rainy day at the office

Nature: Mother nature can be as cruel as she is kind. There will be days when the riders have nice sunny 50 degree Fahrenheit weather and some days when the temperatures are in 90s or as low as 35 degrees Fahrenheit with rain pounding on their faces and slippery roads. One wrong move and you hit the concrete at 30MPH. There is nothing the riders can do about it, like there is nothing any of us can do when we get hit by cyclones, droughts, famines, tsunamies, earth quakes etc. All we can do, is proceed cautiously and wait out the "storm". The riders so the same thing, they get through the extreme conditions, never stopping to move forward. Even in pleasant weather conditions, there are situations where the riders have to climb up the mountains which is like trying to get through a economic recession and then they come down the mountain zooming at 50MPH which is like a boom.

There are more comparisons that I thought about, like the fans who line up beside the roads on the race are like the strangers who help us out, accident that are caused by say a tv telecast car is like the mysterious disease which you pick up without any fault of yours, etc

I have been meaning about writing this blog for about an year and over this year and more recently have been thinking about this alot. I probably should have jot down all the points that came to my mind as soon as they did and then tried to write this piece taking my time, instead of writing it in 2 hours like I did now. But well, we will see, this is kind of a long one. If any of you have made it so far, I would really like to hear your feedback. 

O Island! My Island!

(This is  my 50th post and 5th poem)
I first heard the phrase "O Captain! My Captain!", in the movie "Dead Poet's Society" and got to know about the poem by Walt Whitman about the death of Abraham Lincoln. I liked the way the phrase sounded and being a amateur poet, thought of writing  a poem with a similar beginning. As always the poem is dedicated to the same woman, but this time I am trying to convey a different message than my previous poems. Anyhoo here it goes -

Lost was I, on a tide so high,
barely able to swim, with the chances so slim,
I washed up on you, with lungs full of dew,
O Island! My Island!

I opened my eyes, to see the lovely price,
the green of the trees, felt the sea breeze,
heard the singing birds, and the running herds
O Island! My Island!

Bit by bit I started to explore,
to realize you were everything I was looking for.
Dreamt of the day, that I will stay,
being all yours, forever on your shores 
O Island! My Island!

Then I got to know, you dint want me there,
that gave me a blow, like a huge grizzly bear.
I waited for years, sometimes in tears,
hoping things will change, maybe I'm a derange
O Island! My Island!

One day as I came out of my hutch and saw a patron on the shore,
who seemed to love you as much or maybe even more,
I decided to recede, cause he was harbored,
I will concede, as his feelings were favored, 
O Island! My Island!

On that cue, I started to swim away from you,
with the thought in my mind, that I may never find,
an Island as great as you, in the vast ocean blue
O Island! My Island!


As always, all kinds of criticisms, comments and compliments(if any) are welcome...:)

Who killed curiosity?

(No, I dont mean the Mars Rover)

My mom once told me about an incident that happened when I was like just over 1(according to her). In this incident, I apparently observed a dung beetle roll its "score" for the day all the way across my grandma's backyard. I neither lost interest nor disturb its path for the entire trip. Noticing this her uncle(A Professor at a University) told her that one day I would be a scientist because of my patience and curiosity. My mom told me about this when I was about to go to College and I felt really happy to hear that, to get such a compliment from him at that young an age. Now after all these years, I dont know why, I remembered what she said and then thought, I was no special. Every kid is born curious. As kids, we want to explore stuff, like to know why something is happening the way it is happening, ask a lot of questions, etc. But as we grow up, why does that change? What is it that decreases this curious nature within us? Why do we take things for granted? I mean come on, how many of us really know how a touch screen works( I bet like 90% of us have used them) or even simple stuff like what exactly is dry cleaning. Are we so "busy" with our lives that we forgot how to question? Of course we will come with all guns blazing when the cell phone/ipad isn't working or the strain on your shirt/dress dint come off. 

At what point in our life do we stop wondering about the how and the why? Does it stop instantaneously or over time and What is the reason behind it? Thoughts???

Joyous Pleasure of Sharing what you Find

(Don't be misguided by the title, I am not the kind of person who would share a treasure (if/when I find one), or maybe I will, I don't know. People who know me best would be a better judge of whether I would share or not. :P)

As always, I've been meaning to write this one for a while but could not find the time (naah, just being lazy I guess) to write. Anyhoo, the title of the blog is a mixture of two things. (1) A short story my sister had in the English class when she was in 1st grade (me in 6th). It was called "Joy in Sharing". It's about a little boy who gets a Bicycle as a gift for his Birthday and he lets go of his old Tricycle (which he hasn't used for a while and at the same time dint let anyone else have it). The boy's mother gives the tricycle to their maid's son. The next day, the boy sees the maid's son riding his old tricycle and having a lot of fun with it. Then the boy feels bad that he did not let go of his old tricycle soon, so that someone else could have had used it. Regretting his actions, the boy takes his new bicycle to the maid's kid and they both take turns in riding the new bicycle. The boy realizes how much pleasure someone gets from sharing the things they have. (The actual story might have been slightly different, but that was the gist of it)(2) It's the title of the famous book by THE ONE AND ONLY Richard P. Feynman called "Pleasure of Finding things out". (For those who dont know about it, check out this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgaw9qe7DEE )

Being a Researcher, I get to learn quite a few new, different and exciting things. Also, being a teacher/tutor I get a chance to share this knowledge with my students. I believe the knowledge I have (whatever it accounts for) is a bigger treasure for me than any treasure in the world. I love teaching and especially when I see the "spark" in my student's eyes, the moment when she/he gets the idea I am trying to convey, its such a great feeling. It gives me immense "joyous pleasure" when I am able to share the knowledge that I have and teach someone something. It kind of gives me a sense of fulfillment!! 

The Road Not Taken

In case you are wondering, no this blog has nothing to do with Robert Frost's poem. After seeing my friend Aarti Kapur's recent facebook status message ("What if Rhode could never try her hand with a gun? What if Lochte din't take to swimming but played baseball? What if Ye started with Table Tennis or Gymnastics? I think I missed the boat somewhere......sigh"), I cant help but think, "WHAT IF?" a though most of us, if not all of us at some point or the other in life must have had. What if I would have chosen a sport as a career or at least a serious interest which would lead to, me representing the country at the International level? 

Growing up in India in the 90's and that too in India definitely dint help. Coming from a middle class family meant, in order to make any kind of prospect in life, you must be an Engineer or a Doctor. So the attitude of most parents was "khel-khud kya khana khilayengi"(Games-Sports would not feed you). And my parents were no different, they used to ask me stay home and study on the days when we had Track and Field events at school. Such was the "encouragement" I had.I don't really blame them, because they did what they felt was better,  played it safe and make sure I chose the path with a good future(whatever that means). But, rebel that I am, I still used to go and win a race here or there.

Like most kids, I have always been into sports and was quite good at some of them. It makes me wonder, how would things have been if I had some encouragement and the opportunity.

I am not unhappy with what I am doing right now, because from all the choices that were available to be me, I chose the one I liked the most. But I really doubt if I will ever do something in this line of work which will give me the same feeling as standing on the podium with an Olympic Gold medal around my neck and mouthing the words to the Indian National Anthem being played in front of hundreds of people from all over the world.

What has happened has happened and I can't do anything about it. At this point in life, even if I trained hard enough, I may not be able to run like Usain Bolt or swim like Yannick Agnel, but there still are a few sports where I can try my hand at, like Cycling, Archery, Rowing, Shooting ,Cross-country skiing, etc. Though it takes commitment, dedication and years of preparation to just qualify for the Olympics, at least there is still that outside chance and I am nothing if not an Optimist, so why not. So, lets see what happens in the next 8 years and how things turn out.

Crazee for Thee

Recently I've started listening to Adele Adkins, man does she have a great voice and one of her songs, "Crazy for You" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW4etJWzE1o) inspired me to write my poem no. four and I am sure that there will be more. :D


Every face I see, looks like the face of Ye,
I must be Crazee, crazee for Thee,

The days have been long, but I am strong,
like the strength of king kong, I feel that we belong;

You may not like how I look, but hey I am a good cook,
like an ugly cover of a book, which still could be a great hook;


Though you are not mine, someday I will be fine,
the day You and I dine, along with some wine;


You say I will miss out, I say I will wait out,
doesn't help even if you pout, for my love is that stout;


You must think I am stupid, that I dont mind,
 like the great Intrepid ,you are one of a kind;

Every face I see, looks like the face of Ye,
I must be Crazee, crazee for Thee.

As always I will be looking forward for any kind of comments, compliments and criticisms.

P.S. I'm happy for You...... well........ I'm trying  :|

Broken Hearts and Burgers

It is the name of one of the episodes from "The Wonder Years". The other day I was having a "Burger" and for some reason, it reminded me of this Episode. Though the contents of the episode have not much to do with what I intend to share through this blog, I feel the title is in some way apt.

It's never fun to have a "burger", I mean duh, it's not good for your health. But yet, why do I keep finding myself at a "McD" when I know for sure that I will end up having a "Burger" which in turn will result in years worth "fat deposits" in my system. From my past experience (singular) It seems like the only way to get rid of these "fat deposits" is to go to a "McD" again. But how can I be sure that I wont have a "burger" again, which will leave years worth "fat deposits" yet again? Damn this viscous circle.

About You

For those who are counting, this is my third attempt at poetry and as always inspired by the same person. I am reneging on my word given to the same person by writing this poem, but hey Isn't "All fair in ............................"

What is it about you, that makes me miss you,

believe me it's true, like a baby is new;

Though we haven't spent much time, like the church bells chime,

I'm willing to meet at prime, and hope the hour wont sublime;

What is it about you, that makes me like you,

believe me it's true, like the redwoods grew;

Are you not seeing my zeal? it's like the shock of an eel;

I hope you hear my appeal, I think of you more than I meal,

What is about you, that makes me love you,

believe me it's true, like the strength of glue;

Remember when we had tea? why din't you answer my plea?

I think it is meant to be, because I need you for me;

what is it about you, that makes me adore you,

believe me it's true, like the oceans are blue;

It's time that you gave us a try, like the way you learn't to fly,

that will stop my heart from fry, and make my life sweet as a pie.

As some of you may know, I am not very good with punctuation, so forgive me for that. But any kind of critical review is welcome as always.

50/50

So, I have been thinking of writing a blog for quite a while now. I have even made a list of topics too. But a kind of laziness got to me and lately I am not quite myself, haven't been for a real long time. Anyways we'll get to that some other time. Coming to the blog itself, here it is....

No,its not another name for One Day International Cricket. Its the name of a funny yet thought provoking moving starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogan, Anna Kendrick etc. It's about a 27 y.o. guy(Joseph) who discovers that he is suffering from a type of cancer which gives him 50/50 odds of surviving and how he and people around him deal with it. This reminded me of a lot other movies(whose names I can't re-call right now) in which characters suffering from cancer gain this new perspective on life, make some kind of a bucket-list and do all kinds of stuff which they would not other wise have done. This made me think, why does it have to be this way? I mean, does someone have to be punched right on the face by cancer or some kind of terminal illness to realize that life is too short and you need to be making the maximum out of it. Are we as humans living too long a life that we waste most of it slacking, not being the best we can be, hesitating or being afraid of taking risks, etc? As a solution to this, maybe we should like psyche ourselves into thinking that we do have some kind of terminal illness, then make a kind of bucket-list and check every item on it out and make a whole new one again and repeat. I made my first one and I hope you did too.

Anyways that's the thought the movie put in me. You should check it out, its a good one.

P.S. I have two and three quarter years to live. :)

GOD

When I was a kid, I was told to pray. It could have been in a temple, mosque, church, gurudwara or synagogue etc. I was told that there is this person/thing/being called god and he/she/it will answer my prayers, grant my wishes and make me happy etc. But I was just a kid and hence did not have the cognitive skills or logical reasoning to know if its true or not. As I grew up, I started to realize the facts, know whats true from myth. And there not such a person/thing/being as "god".

But again, being a sports fan and being born in a country where Cricket is considered a religion and even better, being born in an era in which I got to see this Little Man play the game. The man known as SACHIN RAMESH TENDULKAR. The man who was born only 38 years ago on this day.

The man who is visible, made of flesh and blood. The man who does the improbable. This man who gives us hope, answers our prayers and makes us happy or at least tries his level best(and mind you his best is way way up there) to do so is THE GOD, not just for me but for millions of people.